Wolfman

Decided that rain on the first day of Summer was cause enough to embark upon another film before gritting my teeth and skipping to work. Still no sign of flatmate Tom so feel less embarrassed about slothfulness. Require something easily ignored in order to work on rewriting CVs. Decide on Wolfman as critical derision contrasted my enjoyment of the trailer and like catching up on Benicio's inexplicable career slump following his two-film stint as bearded revolutionary.

Try to remember what year I worked for the London Student newspaper only to be distracted by sudden appearance of Hugo Weaving. Accept that Anthony Hopkins has no self respect but am disappointed by Hugo's career self-flagulation. Hugo joins in with the others in their game of accent mash-up which Emily Blunt is obviously enjoying.

Annoying back pain due to today's immobility worsened by agonising morph sequences. Feel sorry for Benicio: all he wants to do is die but nobody will let him, not even Emily. He seems so miserable about being a conflicted monster man in a film that even its director gave up on. Benicio's going to need a Magnum.

Had done best to repress memory of the beginning when Benicio performs Hamlet to a full theatre but am forced to revisit hair-raising happening when Benicio has hallucinogenic flashback.

Enjoy ferocious Benecio vs. Hugo fight/chase through the city but do not enjoy silly Benicio committing fire fuelled patricide. However, pleased that Hopkins is dead. Am reminded of famed Norton/Roth fight in The Incredible Hulk when Benicio and Hopkins run at each other. Feel metaphysical link to gleeful sound designers everywhere when watching climactic fight sequence and know for sure that Universal Studios didn't think anyone would still be watching.

Decide that the closing voice over regarding the duality of man is the worst writing since Portraits by Rose debuted at Twenty 2e7en's festival at The New End Theatre in Hampstead.

Receive text from flatmate Johnny confirming that he has wired me money for our internet bill and count myself lucky that he isn't here watching this as I would be like Benicio at the end of Wolfman and he would be conflicted over what he'd just done to me as punishment for using broadband to watch howlers.